Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
