I am puke
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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