OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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