It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize