even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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