Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
