Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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