If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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