made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
