He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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