The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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