do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
dude. I can hear the air.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
