LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
