I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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