please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
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He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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