I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize