Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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