I am in a vortex of obligation.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
