i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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