And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
