you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
