the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
