morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
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how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
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It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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