the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I have tasted many bathrooms
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
