East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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