I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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