i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
