The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
