In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
