he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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