I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
