She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
