Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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