if i can run in heels then i can drive
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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