There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
