never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
This couple is walking their pig around campus
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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