I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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