Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My vagina just clenched in fear
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize