i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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