You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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