This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
