I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize