so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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