Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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