he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
