Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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