I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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