He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
