I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
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