there's paper in my vomit.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
