sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
