My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Randomize
