just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
