You just made me feel so damn special
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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