If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
