How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
