so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
