like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
