One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
