she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
